Monday, September 19, 2011

A couple of rants

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\title{A couple of rants}
\author{Biswaroop Mukherjee}



high heels should be banned in libraries
alright, high heels are ridiculous in the first place,
but TOK TOK TOK Tok tok tok
is just \emph{argh}.
I dont get it - do they want us to think they have woodpeckers under their heels?
or to think that they're actually 2 inches shorter?
Well they should have labels saying "warning: objects wearing heels are shorter than they seem,"
otherwise WE STUPID GUYS wont be able to figure that out.
Woah it was the heels?? but they're so INVISIBLE and INAUDIBLE.
I'd have NEVER noticed that they're trying to appear sexier which just implies that they aren't in the first place.

when you dont know the answer to a question, don't say "that is a philosophical question." Say "I don't know." It's like replying "it's because you're Indian," or perhaps worse - because you're devaluing deep questioning, rather than being just a racist nitwit. And to philosophers: Stop giving answers to questions to which we cannot know the answer. Yes, I'm $5 \sigma$ sure there is a superintelligent amphibious squid (c.f.\ref{post:ThreeDee}) inside every black hole.

if you're going to listen to bhangra music in the library, it is in in the interest of your ears and the sanity of neighbors that I ask you to turn it down. We get it - you're vibrantly indian and either you want to project that to all lifeforms in the milky way, or you love bhangra just that much. It's outdated, overused, jumpy, and only sounds great in a lorry in Ludhiana. Or perhaps in some tadka naan dhaba - the ones that suddenly appear in the middle of nowhere (north dakota).  Thank you for being so punjabi. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just squeeze some rosogollas on my head. Right here in the math library.


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